Lima

Despite Monica's best efforts, I hated Lima. She met me at the airport with a sign "Monica Tours" and standing off the side a bit so I spotted her easily. I asked immediately about the boat tour as I had packed my swimsuit in my carry on but forgotten to keep my jacket. It was not going to happen. And I think as a result, Monica thought I would want to hire her for a full day instead of just the pre-arranged 2-3 hours as my plane did not leave until 1:30am.

After stashing my big suitcase with "Left Luggage" at the airport (14 soles for all day), we went out to climb into her old white van. Inside she had fridge magnets from clients' countries that they had mailed to her. Because I had no interest in museums, Monica seemed a little unsure of what to do with me and I had not researched Lima well enough to offer suggestions. Later I found there was a zoo - I would have been perfectly content spending my three hours in there.

Lima was loud with honking and very polluted. And the driving was scary. I quickly got a splitting headache. We drove through about 5 districts, past casinos, shopping centres, the Canadian Embassy, Lovers' Park and some marigolds planted in a reproduction of the Nazca Lines. Eventually we came to some pre-Incan ruins and she asked me if I wanted to go for a look. Out of desperation, I said yes. There was an English-speaking group just starting up so I joined them. Trouble was, the guide spoke so softly I had no idea where I was or what it was for. I also have to admit I didn't really care. The most interesting thing at the ruins were two grey dogs running loose, who had tufts of orange hairs sticking out. I saw my first guinea pigs there too in their reproduction farm.

After about 3 1/2 hours, I told Monica I wanted to go back to the airport. She was shocked but off we went in troubled silence. We settled up, hugged and I felt relieved to be on my own again.

I think Monica would be a terrific help if you had a list of museums or places you specifically wanted to see - she had no problem waiting for me while I was in the ruins and knew her way around the city very well. I also fully recognize 1) I was already exhausted at that point and 2) I am not your typical tourist who is content with standard tourist places.

I am good at killing time in airports and I'd like to thank Starbuck's for making coffee that "is built to last". I had 10 hours to waste and knew if I read my book I'd be asleep in about 10 seconds. So I spent 2 hours in the internet kiosk and 8 hours people-watching.